plz talk dirty to me
Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Randomize
