Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
You don't make any sense
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