Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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