He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
