Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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