If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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