Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
