it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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