If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
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