I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
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