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i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
