so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize