its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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