i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Randomize
