I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
