I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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