I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
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Randomize
