you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
