she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
