where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
