Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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