Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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