No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
