I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
