JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
