just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Randomize
