How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
