I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
