i think i have two assholes
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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