actually, I'm a sock model
Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
