So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
