Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Randomize
