Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
