I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Randomize
