I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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