Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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