better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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