i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
