Your face is a jimmy john
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
