You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
too bad you live with your parents still
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
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