he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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