I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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