Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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