he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
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