you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
