Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize