you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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