the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
