So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize