Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize