i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
