I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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