it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Let's paint friendship bongs
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
