we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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