This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
