I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
