I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Holy shit dude........stairs
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
