Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
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