That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
