idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
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