i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
