Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Randomize
