Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
