her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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