Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
