Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
