We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize