Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
