look no pants
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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