Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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