it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
