bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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