You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Randomize
