But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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