Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize
