It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
