apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
