wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
