idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
